Because it appears most of the country has. If you so much as gave this woman a pap smear in 1987, Larry King wants to book you.
Check out this latest clip. First, Larry interviews some chick who said Anna Nicole was her maid of honor. She seems really down-to-earth and normal, and I'm confused, because I thought clearly Anna had no close friends who happened to be in any way grounded in reality, and then she announces that she had never met Anna before her wedding day. She'd won some contest through Trimspa, and ... I don't know, the story gets bizarre ... but somehow or other Anna Nicole showed up at her wedding and now she's on CNN.
Then Larry interviews some dude. Not sure who he is or why he matters, but he called Anna "pumpkin."
And now, the coup de grace. Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna, who is absolutely fucking wasted. And crying. And oh my God she is trashed. Like Paula Abdul levels of incoherence. Now this is the kind of friend I'd have guessed Anna would have.
Okay I just had this fantasy of Joanie Laurer and Paula Abdul co-hosting some sort of View-style talk show program. Just imagine:
"So the war in Iraq is just..."
"I know, it's, like, when I was ten years old, okay, I had this Barbie doll, and we, um, okay, I painted her pubic hair green and..."
"Right, with everyone dying over there, it's just so ... I mean ... when I had my reality show with the Brady guy and my boyfriend came over and I had to try to kill myself because of the media scrutiny and..."
"I think the media scrutiny is just like Iraq."
"It really is."
"Do you have any bubbles?"
"Like to blow?"
"Yes I do."
Okay okay, I'll stop. So now Larry's talking to the wife of Trimspa's CEO. She says Joanie is full of shit and is not friends with Anna, and is just using this opportunity to be in the limelight. She is Anna's true friend, which is obviously why she is so deeply in mourning that she has to take her two minutes with Larry King to bitch out fucking Chyna.
Anyway. Clip's up for the watchin'.