Saturday, September 02, 2006

Justin Guarini: Explained?

The kids over at JMansWorld, a Justin Guarini fan site (wrap your head around that), got wind of the little Justin Guarini mystery I've been trying to solve. And by "trying to solve," I of course mean "not trying to solve." Specifically, how was this guy the #1 requested celeb on E! Online for a significant portion of August 31 of this year? They did the digging that I was too apathetic to even attempt, and found an article on E! Online from August 30 titled "Making the Most of the 'Idol' Experience," about the people who didn't win AmIdol, and all the albums they haven't sold since doing so. Guarini was only mentioned briefly at the end, and only in the context of his utter irrelevance today, but apparently E! Online's readers know a good trainwreck when they see it, and enough of them spent some time rubber-necking to push him to the #1 spot on E!'s list of most requested celebs.

The well-meaning kids at his fan site have concluded that "The only that people genuinely want to know WHAT JUSTIN'S UP TO!"

And you're right, guys, that's exactly what people want to know, but not because they hope to borrow their Mom's Sentra to sing along at his upcoming mall tour; more likely, they are hopelessly intrigued by a life and a hairstyle more publicly embarrassing than their own.

Case closed.

Julie said...

What's even more hilarious is that you contradict yourself by having made the effort to search out one of Justin's fansites so you could see what was being discussed.

BTW, Justin released a brilliant jazz album that had reviewers comparing him to Al Jarreau. Check it out at It's real, sophisticated music - you know, the kind adults with musical taste like.

jgssf said...

This has to be one of the funniest articles Ive read in a long time, and by funny I mean in the completely innacurate over the top bizarre way that is just so exaggerated,nonsensicle and out of left field and wrong, that it's just funny.
But first let me thank you (not) for your characterization that Most of Justin Guarini's devoted fans are "Kids".
I am 53yrs old and haven't been a kid in a long time. I AM actually putting two kids through school though, one through law school and the other in an mba program.
I have a masters degree in Special Education for Emotionally Disturbed Children and am already retired. Oh and about the Sentra? Cute, but I will be driving my beautiful new Jaguar to Justin's upcoming concert September 29th at the Commerce Bank Arts Center in Sewell N.J. which will be fantastic!
Tickets are on sale at TicketMaster and even YOU are invited to come enjoy Justin perform his heart out and put on a great show!

Actually Justin does in fact appeal to fans of all ages. Some are teens or college kids but mostly the fans are in their 30s, 40, 50s and older. Many very very professional and successful, I can assure you of that, and ALWAYS incredibly generous!
Most are married with kids, families and careers. What they have in common is their love and appreciation for Justin!
Justin's Jguars (yes, we have a name too) are some of the nicest, kindest, most caring people you could hope to meet.

Shall we mention that us "kids" have donated many thousands of dollars to various charities
that Justin is involved with, in his honor, because we are proud of him?
We have proudly donated to Broadway Cares Equity Fights Aids, Habitat for Humanity, The Red Cross Hurricane Katrina Fund, The Childrens World Organization, The Philadelphia Childrens Hospital, HH Cealo's fund to help children in Asia and so many more.
Since you seem to frequent the Justin fansites, I am sure you can find the whole list.

Justin was recently honored for his work on behalf of preserving music in schools by NAMM, and he also presented a petition, performed and spoke to Congress about this issue. He is an ambassador for Habitat for Humanity, recently spoke at the Georgia State Legislature on behalf of the Safe Teen Driving initiative, Spoke and participated in teh NAACP Young Leadership Conference, helped raise money for a family who lost their father recently, and also partied with terminally ill children at a hospital where he sang to them, made necklaces, gave out ices, played with them and helped them forget their troubles for awhile.

Justin is a very dear man who loves children, really loves everyone, and who goes out of his way to make everyone he meets, and especially his fans feel very special and appreciated.

YOU may not understand this. Correction, you OBVIOUSLY don't understand this, but Justin's fans initially came to be involved with him because of the great entertainer he is. He has the looks the charisma, the moves, the talent and the "IT" factor that his fans enjoy so much, but we've STAYED because of the very caring, giving, kind, well spoken, creative and lovely young man that he IS!
Justin's positive attitude, and belief in his talent, his always being gracious in spite of all the unfair and undeserved negativity (like yours) is very inspiring for us all.
Maybe its not "cool" these days to not curse and drink and drug and be promiscuous, to love your family, to be greatful to your friends and fans, and to be socially and politically involved and to always take the high road and do what you feel is right.

What can I tell you. Us "Kids" appreciate a guy like that who is talented, classy and a genuinely nice guy.

Again, since you frequent the websites, Im sure you know that Justin independently produced and released a critically acclaimed wonderful smooth jazz cd "Stranger Things Have Happened" which can be purchased on his www.justinguarini/com website.
Justin performs each smooth jazz song, beautifully and from the heart, and his elegant interpretations of the classics make each song sound like a unique little jewel to be enjoyed.
Justin also surrounded himself with some of the top musicians in the country, and it's a great cd.
Justin is working with Sal Mazzotta in his Maffioso Movies series.
He wrote, produced and sang "Everlasting" an original new song he created for a documentary about long lasting marriages, and also wrote the music and performed on Hymn 14.
Justin was specially chosen to compose the Hymn for H.H Cealo because of his "pure heart".

Pure Heart. What a concept these days. And you really still don't understand why Justin's fans love him? Well let me just assure you they do. Just accept it and we'll move on.

So okay Mr Beet, we forgive your ignorance, your innacuracies, your negative bias, and your characterization of Justin's fans as naive kids with no lives.

How about making it up to us by posting about the biggest things you purposely failed to mention.
Justins upcoming new cd and THE CONCERT!
Justin Guarini will be performing in his much anticipated first solo concert September 29th, Commerce Bank Arts Center Sewell New Jersey
Tickets are on sale at Ticket Master.
Join Justin and his fans for a fantastic night of music, memories and magic!
Mr Evil, we know, you're too cool to care, but just for the sake of curiosity and to prove all your preconceived notions right (which won't happen) why not contact Justin and interview him about his upcoming projects. I bet even YOU will come away impressed.!

sharon said... ? thanks for the compliment i'm 44 ! i just learned of your site and about Eonline also today! honestly, i don't ever surf eonline or your site! i'm at Jmansworld and i'm not a kid ! i'm a grown women and proud of it ! lol

the media is the only people who think Justin is gone ? he has been very busy with events and a Jazz cd and his concert now sept.29th! movies on and on!

i meet people in california all the time, who were fans of Justin and ask so where is he ? he was soo good ! lack of promotion is Not the same as not having his fan base who voted for him to be runner up on ai-1! there are a Ton of fans in tv land who did like Justin and are fans waiting to see him in the Public eye again and waiting to see some Promotion for a CD ! most people never knew about his cd there was no single and no promotion on radio !

don't underestimate Justin's fan base out there...they may not be online on his boards, but they are out there ! I just bump into to many fans all the time in Northern california near San francisco on the Peninsula! the Media is really wrong about Justin's fan base !

lesson in bad marketing is what went wrong and Fox and Rca wanting to make sure Kelly was successful and Justin threatened that ! But now that is all done and over and Justin is clearly making his comeback with no doubt!

check out J's sites! go to myspace, Jmansworld, and justinhasit and on and on ! He has a solid internet fan base of all ages and his tv land fans just lost track of Justin, but they are Fans still !

trust me most fans just found out about E online and his internet fan base is Not that Huge to beable to make him # 1 on things!

he has a great solid online fan base, but those folks out there are searching for Justin news and that is the truth !! Media needs to do some research they are out of it on this totally !


vatchulookinat said...

Looks like you pissed in someone's cereal, Beet. I guess you are evil. I was surprised to find that jgssf has such poor spelling and grammar skills considering she claims to have a master's degree in special education. Plus, what is with the weird capitalization and excessive use of exclamation marks by that sharon person. I expected some !1!!11!!1's to turn up by the end of her rant.
Very entertaining responses to your blog - as in funny to laugh at how silly people get in response to someone poking fun at someone who has no real relevance in the world.

Jlvr said...


I'm 36.

I have met Justin and have seen him perform many times. What can I say....he always captivates me. On stage, he is a charismatic performer with a wonderful voice and amazing range. In person he is funny, sincere, humble, caring, and just incredibly nice to everyone.

If you can't understand that, then why even comment on it?

jgssf said...

Sorry about the spelling and the grammar. I DO write from the heart, and I meant everything I said but yeah, the spelling and the grammar skills are a little rusty when I write these days. I guess the "kid" is getting old, lol. The important thing is that I cared enough about Justin to write and be heard.

Brian said...

Holy shit. I was going to come up with some sort of smartassed post and cheekily chorus in with these guys about how tight JG is, but I'm not sure anything you've written in this blog is even half as funny as the bomb jgssf just dropped on here.

Brian said...

Also, I drive a Nissan Sentra, so fuck all y'all.

Brian said...

Mine's an '06. Does that help?

Brian said...

I'm sorry, but one last thing:

"Many very very professional and successful ..."

Streisand_Disciple said...

Wow. I don't even know where to start. I certainly don't want to discourage these kinds of posts on here, but you seem like such nice folks that I thought I should point out that 1000-word missives in response to 6-sentence comedy postings might be a little misplaced. This is basically a site about being catty to famous people. If you can't see how Justin Guarini is comedy gold, then I think you are the ones missing who he really is, in the eyes of mainstream America. Justin Guarini is Mr. Smithers in Sideshow Bob's body, a magnet for well-deserved derision as well as valiant blog defenses from pre-teens and closet cases alike.

In short, JG is, as demonstrated by his album sales, the naive man's William Hung. They both make us normal people laugh, but at least William's fans understand why.

I do, however, salute your passion. And Justin, if you're reading, I smell a cult in the works. Call me.

mereed3929 said...

Actually, Streisand Disciple, those posts by Justin fans (and I am one)show there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who think for themselves and those who take what's fed to them like Pavlovian dogs and regurgitate it ... (I'm looking at YOU Evil Beet! and SD) ...

Take for example Kelly Clarkson's and Justin Guarini's second albums. One was attended by all the bells and whistles to make the dogs (the public) salivate -- payola and radio play, videos on TRL, MTV, VH1, and AOL, stories placed in teen mags, the always incestuous Billboard charts and the label mega hype, the product tie-ins. Etc. The other was independently produced and available on the internet through the artist's site.

By spending millions of dollars ($5-$6 MILLION for each 'hit' single) this way, the music industry convinced you, at least, that Pop Music -- what kelly called her 'ear candy' music - is the BESTEST music EvEr!!11! ... and Jazz music,a beautifully produced album, virtually impervious to criticism, is worthy of how did you put it? "well deserved derision."

I DO know where to start, here it is: What the music industry sells us is all a farce, don't you see? And if you can't see that, I can't help YOU! ... lol.

And what it really goes to show is we need more education in the schools on how to critically evaluate the media! (Or less lazy reporters, ahem ... I'm looking at YOU Evil Beet! take some responsibility!).

Anyway, I strongly recommend picking up Justin's album, Stranger Things Have Happened, and exercising your minds. You might even discover the difference between good music and pop drivel!

The album is available at Enjoy! :)

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Health Blog said...

AmIdol, and all the albums they haven't sold since doing so.

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