Monday, September 25, 2006

Jason Wahler Arrested...Again


Some very critical stories have broken in the past hour. Normally I like to take little breaks from blogging during the day to, you know, do stuff at the job I have that pays me in cash (rather than critical acclaim) and covers my health plan, but there is simply no time for that today.



  • Lindsay Lohan was seen sucking face with Stavros Niarchos last night at Dragonfly. In case you'd forgotten about him already, Stavros is the Greek shipping heir who was at one point engaged to none other than Paris Hilton.


  • Laguna Beach's Jason Wahler was arrested -- again -- on Friday, for battery, after an altercation with a Department of Transportation officer and a tow truck driver. I have created an Evil Beet Hypothetical Transcript of said arrest:


JASON: (sniff) Hey, Mr. Tow Truck Driver, what are you (sniff) doing? (sniff)
TOW TRUCK DRIVER: I am towing your automobile because you did something illegal with it.
JASON: No you're not, asshole. You have no right!
TTD: Actually, I do.
JASON: Like hell you do. I think we ought to (sniff) get an officer from the Department of Transportation involved in this little snafu. He is certain to see it from my point of view. (sniff sniff, shiver)
TTD: Okay, I'll summon one.
[both smoke cigarettes]
DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION OFFICER: I was summoned?
JASON: Yeah, um, (sniff) this tow truck driver believes he has the right to tow my automobile.
DOTO: As a matter of fact, son, he does.
JASON: Don't you (sniff) know who I am?
DOTO: ...
JASON: (sniff)
TTD: ...
JASON: (punches both men in the face)
And scene.


Update: I'm so silly. Hilton dated Niarchos, but she was never engaged to him. She was engaged to an entirely different Greek shipping heir, Paris Latsis. Seriously, if I can't keep things like this straight, what right do I even have to live?

Streisand_Disciple said...

I don't really have anything to say about the two creampuffs at the center of today's entry. I just want to know what happened to the country-by-country hit counter. If people from Laos aren't confirming that this blog is cool, how sure can I be that I really like it?

Anonymous said...

Actually I'm really sad too about the fact that I can't see that people all over the world also like to waste time at work and browse the lives of the rich and famous!

EvilBeet said...

Sorry 'bout that, guys. My 30-day free trial ended. :(