Sunday, September 17, 2006

Are You Done Yet, Kristin Cavallari?


NYC scenesters say that the former Laguna Beacher has been working it hardcore at NYC Fashion Week, showing up everywhere that'll have her. I hope this signals the decline of the Kristin Cavallari reign, and a possible return to the golden days of the Pax California, where you actually had to be the child of someone famous to get famous for absolutely nothing.

Let's take a look at what Kristin's done since her Laguna Beach wrapped in 2005:



  • Dated Brody Jenner (WHO IS BRODY JENNER???)

  • Lost Brody Jenner (WHO IS BRODY JENNER???) to Nicole Richie.

  • Wore obnoxious t-shirt to express her apathy.

  • Started tooling around town with DJ AM, Nicole Richie's ex. Aforementioned apathy seriously in question.

  • Hosted "Get This Party Started," a reality series about the devastating impact global warming is having on our planet's arctic regions, a topic dear to Kristin's heart. No, I'm kidding, it was about partying, and it was canned after two episodes. Girlfriend, if Tara Reid can't make that premise work, your amateur ass shouldn't even be trying.

  • Landed two B-grade movie gigs: Fingerprints, a no-name thriller in which she appears to have a bit part, and Spring Breakdown, a comedy whose IMDB page doesn't even list a character name for her.

Kristin, sweetie, here's a tip for you. If you want to stay in the papers, take a look around you. What are all the other famous-for-nothing girls doing? What sells magazines? What do rubber-neckers worldwide love to see on a cover?

That's right, honey: Anorexia. It's the obvious next step.

Brian said...

Woah, you've got some serious venom for this young woman.

Streisand_Disciple said...

I think that the beet's afraid that among the characters in her psychic chorus, Kristin Cavallari plays a more prominent role than she'd like to admit.

Judy Tenuta's unfortunately center stage in mine.

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