There is No News Today

When is Britney due again? This is so frustrating. Items being circulated as news today:

• Paris Hilton released the album you and your best friend recorded on an 8-track when you were ten years old. Honestly, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was not going to listen to this album; I was going to hold out for weeks, at least, and possibly months; my resolve was strong and my motives were pure; and around 3:15 pm a coworker dropped it on my desk, and it was all over for me. I'll write a more thorough review later.
• No one will ever marry Brittany Murphy. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Makeover!
• Kate Hudson thinks she can just skip out on an overseas premiere of a movie nobody cares about just because she's divorcing a man nobody cares about without it being big news. And any other week, she'd be right.