Afternoon Delight: Vaughniston Implodes Under the Weight of its Own Gravity (and over the phone)

• Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston broke up over the phone.
• Madonna selects an African child to adopt with the same obsessive attention to detail and God complex that make her live performances such extraordinary spectacles.

• Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie are dunzo. Barton says Richie's "fickle," by which she of course means "starving."

• Having properly atoned for a year of sins on Yom Kippur, Mel Gibson's drinking again.
• Ashlee Simpson denies hooking up with Nick Carter while he was with Paris Hilton, using her own special brand of eloquence: "No! That is so random. When I heard that, I was dying laughing."