Friday, October 13, 2006

Hilary Duff Has Earned Herself a Stalker

Disney's teen queen, Hilary Duff, and her boyfriend, Good Charlotte's Joel Madden, stated in court documents filed Thursday that they fear for their lives after being stalked by two men during the past six weeks. The men in question are Max, a 19-year-old immigrant from Russia, and his "roommate," David Joseph Klein, age 50. See? All the real crazies go by three names.

According to the documents, Max has stated that he intends to purchase a weapon, and "has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions." He allegedly emigrated from Russia to the U.S. two years ago for the sole purpose of being Hilary Duff's boyfriend (they issue visas for that?) and said that he would "remove enemies" in his path -- specifically Duff's current boyfriend, Madden. Duff and Madden are requesting that the two hopeless romantics stay at least 100 feet from them and their family members.

Update: I just read that Hilary Duff will soon be a SIMS character. Maybe Max can just buy the game and "play in bed" with the Hilary character. Or, more likely, send her through a door into an empty room, pause the game, delete the door and replace it with a wall, unpause, and leave her in there to starve. Not that we used to do that a lot in college.