Late-Night Links

Just in case Britney Spears had any surviving remnant of trust for the people she allows into her life, Isaac Cohen sits down with News of the World for a tell-all just weeks after their split. [Dirty Laundry]

The JT video for "What Goes Around Comes Around," co-starring Scarlett Johansson, has hit the Internet. I'd comment on it, but after I'd watched for a minute or two, I was in too much pain to continue. I'd feel bad passing judgment without viewing the remaining seven freakin' minutes. [POTP]

Someone leaked a topless photo of Jen Aniston from the set of The Break-Up. Hooray boobies! [The Blemish]

More music videos: The Killers "Read My Mind" and Scissor Sisters "She's My Man." [Bree, popbytes]

Ralph Fiennes joins the mile-high club. [Warship]

Late-Night Links

Those folks who took over Paris Hilton's storage locker when she forgot to pay the monthly fee on it have finally released the info they found within. Among it: pictures of Paris smoking a tampon. [Gawker]

Rose McGowan's looking a little ragged these days. [popbytes]

Jen Aniston's rep is just plain tired of lying. He admits his client had a nose job this weekend. [The Superficial]

Singer Brandy was the cause of a disturbing Los Angeles wreck. No, not Moesha. [Bossip]

Look, I tried, but I can't beat Seth and Mark on this, so I'm just going to steal their headline: ABC Sends Isaiah Washington to Gayhab. [Defamer]

Clearly the most effective way to get your estranged wife to seek help for her drinking problem is to whine about it to Star magazine. Right, K-Fed? [IBBB]

Hugh Hefner takes time out of his busy day to call Kelly Osbourne ugly. [Agent Bedhead]

Late-Night Links

The cast of Grey's Anatomy continues their love-fest, with T.R. Knight appearing on Ellen to formally recommend Isaiah Washington for sainthood. [Defamer]

Even into the sixth season, the American Idol auditions continue to hold a strange power over America. Film.com's live-blogging it. [Film.com]

Breaking: Paris Hilton treats another human being like crap for no discernable reason. [Celebslam]

Larry Rudolph shocks the world by announcing that Britney Spears is actually not pregnant. [Hollywood Grind]

Meanwhile, a definitely pregnant Tori Spelling knocks back a few glasses of wine. [DListed]

Hugh Hefner generously agrees that he will maybe possibly at some point consider allowing Holly Madison to demand child support from him once she ages out. [Celebitchy]

Gasp! Aniston confidante Courteney Cox was spotted fraternizing with the enemy at the Golden Globes. [The Blemish]

Pam Anderson parties at the Playboy mansion, narrowly avoids a crotch shot. She is not fast enough, however, to evade the ginormous Wynonna Judd lookalike who's grabbed her by the leg and is now threatening to lick something. [TBYLTH]

Let's All Suck Together!

Good News. Jennifer Aniston is going to guest star on the show Dirt starring (and I use that term loosely) Courteney Cox. This is good news because Jennifer needs something to do and the Friends cast is in danger of being swallowed whole by the universe.

Plus it will be low pressure because no one will watch the show; the gals can just kick back and relax.

The info is here, but I've given you all of it anyway, trust me.

Late-Night Links

Howard Stern gets David Arquette to dish on the Brad/Jen split. [INO]

Kate Moss may be a hopeless cocaine addict, but she's an addict who can sell some clothes. Burberry knows this. [Celeb Warship]

Trust me, if the Kim Kardashian sex tape exists, no one wants it to hit the Internet more than Kim Kardashian. [Bossip]

Father of the Year Kevin Federline announces that the forfeit of his relationship with Sean and Jayden is worth $25M per kid. [The Blemish]

A pregnant Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott hit the press junkets. [Teddy and Moo]

Justin Timberlake takes his face out of Scarlett's breasts for long enough to issue a formal break-up statement with Cameron Diaz. [Faded Youth]

Spicy Pants from Celebrity Smack is going to be on the radio! Be sure to tune in and listen. [Celebrity Smack]

MK from popbytes has 30 Seconds to Blog for an AOL webcast and he does a fantastic job. [popbytes]

The People's Choice Awards Happened

There. I said it. Admitting it is half the battle. I'm only sorry that it took me this long.

I don't have it in me to write anything more interesting about it, really. Cameron looked like she just got done wrestling in the La Brea tar pits. Jennifer Aniston's breasts finally emerged victorious in the tight race with her chin for the title of "Biggest Thing on Jennifer Aniston's Body." I want to put Hayden Panettiere in my pocket and have her with me all day long. I want to return her dress to the table at Pancho's.

Full list of winners here.

Jolie Will Steal Your Man, Then Welcome a Sitdown

I think we all should fear Angelina Jolie just a little bit. Not in the way that cripples thought, but more like a "I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to nuts. My throat is constricting. This Apple Brown Betty has nuts in it doesn't it?" sort of thing.

Well, she's given me a little more reason not to mess with her in an interview with Vogue. Personal aside, why is she doing interviews with Vogue? Aren't they part of the system? Have they adopted children I'm not aware of? Rant over.

Jolie initially denies that she has met Aniston, but she clarifies herself. "We've, like, passed each other and said 'hi' briefly, shook hands. But not a real sit-down-and-talk kind of meeting." Will they have a proper meeting? "That would be her decision, and I would welcome it."

Sigh. Now I have more questions. What exactly would a proper meeting entail? "Yeah, so anyway, Brad and I are traveling the globe in search of new children we can both take care of. He said life with you was hell. We done here?"

I mean this is a chick who has sported a vial of blood around her neck. I don't think Jen is looking to grab a quick mochachino. Hell, I'm shocked she even survived the hand shake.

Late-Night Links

Jennifer Aniston leaves an L.A. club through the back door with none other than Kevin Federline. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! [Celebitchy]

Sharon Stone outrages and offends the population of Norway. "Now you know how we feel," says the population of America. [Perez Hilton]

Pam Anderson got naked in front of a camera, because that's how she spends her time when she's not getting married impulsively. [Agent Bedhead]

Since her 2003 arrest for heroin possession, Nicole Richie has apparently lost an inch of height and five pounds. Also, she's black now. [Mollygood]

Queen Latifah and her girlfriend, trainer Jeanette Jenkins, are reportedly jogging towards splitsville. But, hey, at least she's jogging. [Bossip]

Paris and Nicky Hilton having an ass-slappin' good time in the back of a limo. [Egotastic]

Early Evening Links

Can you believe I got these things up before 10 pm?? GO ME!!!

Jennifer Hudson needs additional media training. [Defamer]

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars partner Katrina Smirnoff are doing the horizontal tango, if you know what I mean. [MollyGood]

Reese Witherspoon('s breasts) look amazing at the Kennedy Center Honors. [Yeeeah!]

Jen and Vince's reps join forces to put the final nail in the Vaughniston coffin: "Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship." The reps admit the two broke up in October, after Jen visited Vince in London. So, you know, right around when the blogosphere said they did. [Dirty Laundry]

Paul Walker has no need for talent. Good thing, too. [Celebrity Smack]

Scarlett Johansson: "Please masturbate to me. I want you to. I need you to. Do it three, four, five times a day. Before bed, in the morning, at the office, at your children's day care, between rounds of golf, in front of your girlfriend, at your mother's house, in the boss's office, in the cafeteria, onto the mashed potatoes, anywhere, everywhere, I don't care, just as long as you're masturbating to me." [Agent Bedhead]

Lance Bass says that he and Reichen are still trying to work things out. He made the statement via MySpace, which is totally Hollywood's hottest PR agency right now. [ICYDK]

Photos from Johnny Depp's first wedding in 1983. [popbytes]

In Case You Still Care...

Jen and Vince are officially dunzo.

Which is totally no surprise, since we haven't seen them together in months.

But still. Now you know.

2006 has been all about celebrity splits.

Here's to hoping that 2007 will be all about new, exciting celeb hook-ups!

What Sucks and Costs $250 Million?

This is older news but you haven't heard about it yet. A friend mentioned this to me and I had to track it down for you, the adoring public. I'm about to blow your mind. Ready?

Evan Almighty could cost as much as $250 million U.S. dollars to make. That's million with an M. As in one quarter of a Billion dollars.

You may be scratching your head as to what exactly Evan Almighty is. It's the sequel to Bruce Almighty, the one where Morgan Freeman was God and Jim Carrey put a definitive end to his comedy film career. The movie was okay, and it was cool because Jennifer Aniston played a tree. Oh, she didn't? My bad.

But back to the budget, according to the article the film has run over on costs because:

a) it's a "spectacle fantasy and also a comedy."

b) the "studio's desire to release the film during the holiday season in December, thereby cutting preparation time and forcing the crew to shoot scenes in Virginia during a rainy period."

c) "Producers also encountered delays having to film hundreds of animals."

Okay, now I get it. They had to deal with pricey rain, it's a fantasy, and they had animals. It's like Singles mixed with Jumanji so you can see why it would cost bank and a half. I won't get into why they've decided special effects are relevant to a comedy because I know what really happened to the money and that's a much more compelling story.

Tijuana hookers, eight thousand pounds of blow, and the crazy "money bonfire" party that helped the cast and crew pass away those lonely Virginia nights.

Vince Vaughn "Has No Recollection of Those Events"

Vince Vaughn is really, really pissed he got caught making out with a homely blonde in London last week. The actor plans to take legal action against the British tabloids the Sun and the Daily Mirror, as well as against the New York Post for suggesting that he and Aniston had split, or that he had cheated on her.

On Wednesday's Oprah, Aniston reiterated that all was well in paradise -- she and Vince were still together, and she is still so totally over that Brad Pitt guy.

Is this really what it takes to get these two to admit they were even together in the first place?

I'm Sick Today. Phoning It In. Sorry for the Unfunny.

• Is Natalie Portman dating British billionaire Nat Rotschild? Say it ain't so!



• Mary-Kate Olsen is totally her new boyfriend's Mini Me.



• While taping Oprah on Wednesday, Jennfer Aniston claims she and Vince Vaughn have not broken up, but also notes that they're not engaged. Um, did anyone mention to Ms. Aniston that there are pictures of the man she's not broken up with making out with a woman who's not her floating all over the Internet?



• I'd be excited to run into Counting Crows' Adam Duritz pretty much anywhere, with the exception being on my boyfriend's back. (In tattoo form.)



• I haven't written much (read: anything) about the YouTube channel Diddy started with Burger King; while I consider myself Web 2.0-savvy, I have to admit, I just don't understand how it could possibly work. I feel a little better about that, now, because neither does most of the country.



• Premiere Magazine lists The 50 Biggest Hollywood Disasters, for your trainwreck-viewing pleasure.

Vince Vaughn Making Out with Some Chick

Bad day for Jennifer Aniston, good day for The Sun. After knocking it out of the ballpark with their hard-hitting headline on the North Korean nuclear crisis, they report that a drunken Vaughn was making out with a mystery blonde in London:

The comedy actor got up close with the mystery girl after arriving for a London showbiz bash in a stained sweatshirt and with the fly of his jeans undone.The Dodgeball funnyman’s unkempt appearance amazed fellow guests at the after-show party for a theatre event he starred in.

Seriously, The Sun is on fire. (Har har har). Now if only they could find a copy-editor who knows how to spell "theater."

Afternoon Delight: Vaughniston Implodes Under the Weight of its Own Gravity (and over the phone)

• Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston broke up over the phone.
• Madonna selects an African child to adopt with the same obsessive attention to detail and God complex that make her live performances such extraordinary spectacles.

• Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie are dunzo. Barton says Richie's "fickle," by which she of course means "starving."

• Having properly atoned for a year of sins on Yom Kippur, Mel Gibson's drinking again.
• Ashlee Simpson denies hooking up with Nick Carter while he was with Paris Hilton, using her own special brand of eloquence: "No! That is so random. When I heard that, I was dying laughing."

Brad Pitt Peeks Out from Angelina Jolie's Shadow, Says Something Important

Don't get me wrong: I'm still mad at Brad Pitt. When he walked out on Jennifer Aniston, I felt like he took all my fairytale-marriage-to-Brad-Pitt dreams along with him. You'd think they would have evaporated when he married Jennifer Aniston, and, consequently, not me, but somehow they persisted still. Like I could have my fairytale marriage to Brad Pitt through Rachel Green. I soaked up every minute of our power-couple union. What kind of person operates in such a distorted, delusional reality? I'll tell you: it's the same kind of person who writes a celebrity gossip blog.

So when he left us for that whorecake of a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador (that's not even a real ambassador, I'll have you know), I was pissed. It was totally uncool. I felt jilted, betrayed. I was mad at him.

Then he shows up on the cover of Esquire looking ridiculously hot and broody, and what does he say about his relationship with Captain Whorebreath?

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."

And when you set aside the fact that Brad Pitt just boldly advocated polygamy and child brides to a well-respected men's publication, it's really a very nice sentiment, and I may take his photo off my dartboard, just for this week.

Vaughniston Seals the Deal

Am I the only writer in the blogosphere more interested in the "Simpsons Strike Back at Dad" headline? Images of Jessica and Ashlee in super-cute guerilla gear, storming the Joe Simpson compound with M-16s and grenades, demanding the prompt return of their innocence, reputations, original noses, and chances of ever having a healthy relationship with a man?

But, alas, the blogosphere is abuzz with this news; it's likely that the only person on the planet more apathetic than I toward the looming Vaughniston alliance is Brad Pitt.

Hey, Brad, if you're reading this, you should totally come over tonight. We don't have to do this alone. We can wade through our Vaughniston ennui hand-in-hand. I have whipped cream and a cat you can call Maddox. Just say you'll think about it.

Update: Jen's rep says it's not true. You know, this is really the bloggers' fault. If we would only buzz about Us Weekly every day enthusiastically no matter what forever and ever amen, they wouldn't have to do this sort of thing to us. Jesus. Now wash up the blood, sweetie, and start dinner. That's a good girl.

Brad: I still have the whipped cream and the cat. Let's not allow this shocking turn of events to spoil our dreams. Call me.