Madonna Really Just Window Shopping for Orphans

Despite her publicist's insistence that she does not plan to adopt an AIDS-orphaned African child, Madonna continues her AIDS-orphaned African child sight-seeing tour in Malawi, which I'm told is kind of like an African safari, but, instead of admiring elephants and zebras and leaving them in peace in their natural habitat, you admire human children who have lost any remnant of hope for a life involving love and regular meals, briefly flash that hope in front of them, and then leave with it in a Hummer which, if sold only for parts, could feed and shelter each of them well into adolescence. It's the next tourist hot spot! You heard it here first!