Paging Ari Gold

With Britney Spears safely in rehab, there's room for a new superstar in Hollywood, and this guy knows it. He's started the website PagingAriGold.com, a blog dedicated to attracting the attention of fictitious Hollywood super-agent Ari Gold. Googling the term "Ari Gold" produces a sponsored link to his website (although I discovered it while googling Kevin Connolly, so it appears he's branching out). The site has three entries, two of which include his video pleas to Ari and his assistant, Lloyd. I'm fairly certain this guy is joking, in which case it's fabulous (but subtle) humor. If he's not joking, it's even funnier. I've included the videos here.

This is a Very Cool Parrot

This talented parrot has very little to do with celebrity gossip (well, there's a small bit involving Mario Lopez, so maybe that counts), but it's about the cutest/funniest/most talented damn parrot on the planet, so I wanted to share.

[via Defamer]

Studio 69 on Van Nuys Boulevard

A MadTV parody via Best Week Ever.

Lindsay Lohan's Beautiful Life

We talk a lot of shit about Lindsay Lohan around here, but this song, "Beautiful Life," from her latest album, A Little More Personal, is honestly my favorite song to listen to when I'm really sad. It always cheers me up a little. So, as Slow News Week draws to its grinding, painful close, I thought I'd share it with you all.

Tori Amos Does Taxi Ride on Oxygen

This is my contribution to slow news week. Tori Amos sings "Taxi Ride" live on Oxygen. I love this song. I love Tori. At least half of you are gay, so I know you do, too. Enjoy.

The Insider Promo for Anna Nicole Smith Interview

Check out this promo for the interview The Insider recently did with Anna Nicole Smith. They had five cameras! And a senior producer! Anna does look amazing in these clips, and either she's seriously polished up her acting chops or she really did open up to them, because the emotions look pretty raw. As the senior producer helpfully voices over, "she was still in pain." Ms. Producer also takes note of the "unique bond" between Anna and her newborn baby. If you squint, it's almost like the bond between a mother and her child.

Prep your TiVos, kids!






[via TabloidWhore]

Weekend Round-Up

Rapper Snoop Dogg is arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession. At an airport. If he were smart like Paris Hilton, he'd keep his damn weed in his teddy bear when traveling. [CelebSlam]

With a Teen People camera crew following her, Brooke Hogan spends $900 at LF in NYC. After the cameras leave, she sends a flack to return most of it. [Page Six]

Aw, Mischa Barton is crying. That means she's hungry. [Celebrity Smack]

The extended trailer for the sixth season of 24 is online, so you can have some brand new imagery for your Jack Bauer fantasies. [Tabloid Whore]

Check out side-by-side pictures of Madonna in 1979 and daughter Lourdes this year. My guess is little David will not bear the same resemblance. [WOW Report]

Steve Irwin's widow is not happy that the guys from South Park are already poking fun at his death. [HGW]

Kate Moss Topless and Dancing

While you all are hard at work solving my movie puzzle, you might want to take a short break to relax, have a cup of coffee, and check out Kate Moss topless and dancing. It's mesmerizing, really.

The More You Know

Once again. I love John Krasinski.

Amy Winehouse's Name is Unfortunate

As she is drunk out of her skull on this appearance on Charlotte Church's U.K. television show.

Anderson Cooper Weighs in on the KFed Issue

Link via SorryIGotDrunk.

Will Someone Please Do Something about Paula Abdul?

I've written several intros to this video and I keep erasing them. It's easy to poke fun at Paula Abdul's substance abuse problem. It's so painfully obvious on AmIdol that I find myself exclaiming "Wow, I think she's sober tonight" in the rare instance that she appears to be.

You'd think she'd have people around her to do something about this. I mean, even if they can't keep her from guzzling liquor and vicodin, at least they could keep her off of live television for the night. But the folks at E! caught her on Emmy night, and asked her questions she proceeded to answer using her best impression of an overtired 5-year-old. I'm kind of sad for her, actually. I've decided the only reason she can get through tapings of AmIdol is that they film it in the afternoon -- clearly, by nightfall, she's totally incoherent.

The sound and picture quality get better about 15 seconds in.