Wednesday, January 24, 2007

It's a Sad, Sad World


So I'm being a generally pathetic human being today, ingesting the sweet, sweet liquor of E!'s High Maintenance 90210, when I recognize one of the high-profile clients. I just can't place how. Her name is Allison Pearson. I watch her. I know her. I recognize the obnoxious face, the inane laughter, the vapid expressions. Did I go to high school with her? Hm. No. Did we date the same guy? Seems likely. But no. Did I throw a drink at her at a bar? Wishful thinking. How do I know this girl?

I Google her, and the geniuses at Pop Culture Whore come to my rescue. She's that nauseating girl from True Life: I'm Getting Plastic Surgery, which aired on MTV six years ago. Allison was nineteen back then, and whoring around with her BFF Rachael, alternating their waking hours between laying in tanning beds and getting plastic surgery. Her goal in life was to be in Playboy, or at least to get into parties at the Playboy Mansion. I laughed at her them, and hoped that within a year she'd be back home in Ohio or wherever, her spirit irreparably broken.

So what the fuck? Now this bitch is married to some successful music producer and spending $20K on necklaces? These things are not supposed to happen to bad people like her! She contributes absolutely zero value to this world. You know what? Let me amend that. She contributes negative value to society. She can't even organize her own closet. She spends all day drinking with her personal assistant. So not only is she failing to contribute to our planet, she is sucking any potential value-added behavior from another human being. I'll admit that terrorism is to be frowned upon, but Allison Pearson is what's wrong with the world.

In happier news, she's totally put on ten or fifteen pounds since the MTV taping, and she looks a little big around the hips. Yeeeee!

Anonymous said...

i think somebody is jealous, as for her baody she looks great and when she does get fat, she can just get MORE surgery.
i do agree she is an idiot, but good for her she found a man dumber and richer than her. i wish i had the same luck!

Anonymous said...

I wish I had the same luck too! I think her body looked hot! I also don't think "Allison Pearson" is what is wrong with the world, when some blogger is cattily writing.. "In happier news, she's totally put on ten or fifteen pounds since the MTV taping, and she looks a little big around the hips. Yeeeee!" I don't understand the world today. We criticize television and magazines for putting an emphasis on skinny, and when someone is shown at a healthy weight, it is put down also...I think the Evil Beet needs to check herself. Jealous much?

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous above me. Anything semi intelligent u said in your first 3 paragraphs was totally made irrelevant by your last immature comment. You must still be in High School. At least "pop culture whore" manages to be witty while throwing written blows. You come across as just, well... sad.

Anonymous said...

I wouldnt consider her being engaged to some rich jerk a good thing, because honestly most rich men in LA are just that, JERKS. most likely, he's cheating on her, treats her like trash, and the only reason she's with him is becausew shes desperate for money. Do we even know what this guy looks like? He's probably hideous. I doubt it's true love or anything else to be jealous of.

PS. Ive NEVER had any plastic surgery and have been to Hef's parties at the mansion. Must suck for her to be so ugly that she had to get a ton of work done to get into a party that honestly isnt even hard to get into!

PaydayLoans said...

L4To6F You have a talant! Write more!

Auto insurance company said...

9rxaev Please write anything else!

Hydrocodone said...

wlOf9p The best blog you have!

duquesne school of pharmacy said...

e106KX Nice Article.

all shook up and tour said...

Please write anything else!

fioricet imitrex said...

Good job!

celebrex normal dosage said...

Good job!

university of connecticut pharmacy ce said...

Nice Article.

purchase phentermine said...

Please write anything else!

dose vicodin said...

Wonderful blog.

2006 january mt xenical said...

Wonderful blog.

mix tramadol and methadone said...

Wonderful blog.

buy cheap phentermine yellow buy phentermine by co said...

Good job!

JohnBraun said...

1PlypF write more, thanks.

comics paint sex said...

Wonderful blog.

dvd sex virtual said...

Good job!

anime sex wallpaper said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

lebens having sex said...

Hello all!

hot blonde anal said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

sex addict help said...

Magnific!

elf joy sex said...

Nice Article.

oriental sex movie said...

Nice Article.

beastilty sex stories said...

Hello all!

beast stories sex said...

Please write anything else!

cyber picture sex said...

Please write anything else!

hot asian sex said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

raider sex tomb said...

Nice Article.

married sex dates said...

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

nichola holt sex said...

Hello all!

disablity sex photos said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

free hairy pits porn said...

C++ should have been called B

boy anal sex said...

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

brazilian carnival sex said...

Magnific!

afree sex videos said...

Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.

japanese sex music said...

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

hydrocodone 5500 mg said...

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

cheap generic drugs viagra cialis levitra said...

Magnific!

buy ultram online said...

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

italia sex pics said...

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

bisexual gay sex said...

640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81

giraffes having sex said...

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

asian sex comic said...

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

all dimes sex said...

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

sex at 55 said...

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

definition sex world said...

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

nymphet sex pic said...

Thanks to author.

club taboo norco said...

Wonderful blog.

name said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

said...

C++ should have been called B

purchase download movie porn said...

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

amateur porn handjob said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

lesbions sex nude said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

ass sex picture said...

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

gangbangers porn said...

Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.

contactos japonesas peladas gratis blog said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

get into the best teens porn sites with said...

Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!

dogs impacted anal glands said...

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

gag sample sex said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

porn star gauge said...

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

hardcore sex premium said...

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

ibuprofen safe dosage said...

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

celebrates sex pics said...

Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.

planet of sex said...

Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.

brothel sex cam said...

Please write anything else!

car sex positions said...

Clap on! , Clap off! clap@#&$NO CARRIER

forced disney sex said...

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

how make homemade porn said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

indian pic sex said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

upload porn videos said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

jewish sex free said...

Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x10 do?

position for sex said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

ariel porn said...

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

kerry washington sex said...

Nice Article.

black gay thug porn said...

What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

rough painful anal sex said...

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

passionate couples sex said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

phentermine with no prescription needed said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

cheapest phentermine said...

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

is it safe to combine phentermine and wellbutri said...

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

ich cgi sex said...

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

watcheswrold said...

Breitling Watch Replicas
Breitling Replica.
Breitling watches.
Replica Watch .
Watch Replica .

Rolex Watches.
fake rolex.
Replica Rolex watches .
Watch Replicas .
Replicas Watches .
Swiss Replica .
Swiss Replica watch .
Swiss Replica watches .
Fake Watches .

Fake Watch .
Rolex Replica .
Rolex Replicas .
Replica Rolex .
Replicas Rolex .
Replica Rolex watches .

Replica Rolex watch .
Fake Rolex .

rolex watches said...

Fake rolex watches-- There is no secret thatRolex watchesis one of the most beloved watches all over the world.Replica rolex watches are exact imitation from the originals. Each piece is paid closely attention in manufacturing, and inspected carefully before it was taken out of the warehouse. Choose one of elegant and classic models, and enjoy every moment in life with our amazing timepiece of first-class quality at reasonable price. :)