Angelina's on the Pill

The Good Shephard has been very good indeed to the celebrity gossip community, as it's forced Angelina Jolie to hit the interview circuit. Everywhere she stops she drives her skinny, beautiful, successful stake further into Jennifer Aniston's heart. Yesterday's brutalities took place on Good Morning America, where she shared with the world the trials and tribulations of adopting children from around the world and raising them with Brad Pitt.

"I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn't just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it's been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family. I'm on the pill. You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z? So there's another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at. What's best for the children as they grow? ... We don't just want to have different children from different countries. That's not the point."

She continues to rave about Pitt and the kids: "He really enjoys them. He woke up very, very early this morning and let me sleep in because I had this interview. ... Dealing with the two girls and bottles and food, which is not easy to do, on his own, for quite a few hours this morning so I could rest. ... He's just a really great partner, a great, great man."

Angelina added: "It must be really sad to be Jennifer. I mean, she's all alone again, since Vince cheated on her with a sorority girl with teeth the size of my arm, and she'll probably never get to have kids of her own, and it's not like she's made a half-decent movie, well, ever. If I were her I'd probably just kill myself. Take a bunch of pills or something. Just let it all end. Have I mentioned that Brad is a really wonderful man? We are so, so happy together. So happy. Sooooooo happy. Happy, happy, happy. HAPPY!"