Late-Night Links

Lindsay Lohan's out of rehab and on the loose. And everyone knows the next-best thing to some Grey Goose cocktail is some Ryan Phillippe ... um .. you know. [A Socialite's Life]

Sarah Michelle Gellar: pregnant or fat? [INO]

Cammy Diaz nabs herself some Tyrese. [Cele|bitchy]

Premiere becomes the latest magazine to bid adieu to its print version, plans to focus efforts on online operations. [fishbowlLA]

Hey, guess who's still freakin' adorable? The Jolie-Pitt family! [ICYDK]

Also cute: TomKat and Suri, back on the intramural sports circuit. [dlisted]

Courtney Love breaks the big story that there was cocaine at Paris Hilton's birthday party. We get it, Courtney. You're sober now. But do you really have to ruin it for everyone else? [Warship]

Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer take little Ruby Sweetheart into the ocean. Nude. (She's nude, not them.) [POTP]

Pics from Liz Hurley's wedding. [Allie]

ScarJo puts on her very ugliest dress for the Louis Vuitton show. Hair and shoes to match. [SOW]

One billion pics from the NAACP Image Awards. [PopSugar]

Also ... a VERY SPECIAL thanks to Joy A. at Pop on the Pop for giving Evil Beet a shout-out in her Mediabistro interview. We love ya, Joy, and we love reading POTP!

Late-Night Links

Brandon Davis makes Paris Hilton cry at her birthday party. Somewhere, Lindsay Lohan has a newfound confidence in her Higher Power. [Celebslam]

Pink has one of those sexy jutting-out pelvic bones that are absolutely irresistible ... on a man. [The Blemish]

Hey, guess who's freakin' adorable? The Jolie-Pitt family! [POTP]

Vivid agrees not to distribute the Kim Kardashian video until all this Britney/Anna hype dies down and the blogosphere can once again focus on a C-lister's sexcapades. [Celebrity Smack]

100 places to get music online. [Bree]

Do you ever catch yourself watching MTV's Juvies and think to yourself, "Man, I wish some blogger would do an interview with one of those crazies?" I don't. But still. This is a pretty funny interview. [IBBB]

David Spade has a blog. I guess the rest of us should just stop now. Strange, I used to think I was funny. [The Showbiz Show]

Brangelina: Hit Me (with a) Baby One More Time

Oops ... they did it again!

Sorry, sorry. With Britney now sequestered in a single rehab for over twenty-four hours, I don't know what to do with all those jokes. And it just doesn't seem right that it's nearly noon and I haven't made one yet. So I'm turning them on Brad and Angie, because Hollywood's better-dressed version of the United Nations is expanding once more.

Sources tell US Weekly that the gorgeous couple has filed papers with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration services to adopt a boy from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City. They visited the orphanage in late November.

The move will bring gender equality to the family, which currently consists of one boy (Maddox, five, from Cambodia), and two girls (Zahara, two, from Ethiopia, and Shiloh Our Lord and Savior, 10 months, from the far-off, magical land of Angelina Jolie's Vagina).

For those of you keeping score at home, this brings the tally to Brad Pitt: 4 kids, Jennifer Aniston: 0 kids. It's looking to be a shut-out. Ouch.

Brangelina and the Girls Do N'Awlins

Mama and Papa with Zahara and Shiloh. Awwww...so cute!!!

Late-Night Links

Teri Hatcher had a lunch date with George Bush, Sr. I'm not sure which of them I feel more sorry for. [Faded Youth]

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime ... if it weren't for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime ... if it weren't for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling's like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah ... Ryan O'Neal ... blah blah son drunk ... blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered ... blah blah blah ... Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister's bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won't face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]

Late-Night Links

Angelina Jolie's mother passed away. [MollyGood]

Mariah Carey does Playboy. This is exactly what you wanted ... in 1996. [DListed]

Matt Dillon doesn't like Marilyn Manson because Manson once cut his pubes with scissors he'd borrowed from Dillon. It's always something. [Agent Bedhead]

Mary-Kate isn't anorexic, people, she's blonde. [Celebslam]

Disney theme parks make their way into the gossip blogosphere for the first time since Lohan got trashed at Disneyland in July, with a series of Disney-themed ads featuring Beyonce, Scarlett and David Beckham. Lindsay is conspicuously absent, although she's been photographed plenty coming to and from her own Wonderland. [popbytes]

Angelina Jolie Thinks Her Baby's a "Blob"

After several years of relative silence, we have our good ol', rambling, Billy-Bob's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck, yeah-we-just-humped-in-the-car, what-else-do-you-want-to-know Angelina Jolie back on the publicity circuit. She continues to give noteworthy interviews, and she doesn't hold back.

Jolie gave an interview to the UK's Elle magazine, and she talked about the different relationships she has with her children.

“I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they’re survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her...I met my other kids when they were 6 months old, they came with a personality. A newborn really is this...Yes, a blob! But now she’s starting to have a personality...I’m conscious that I have to make sure I don’t ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable.”

And, of course, she throws her usual salt in Jen Aniston's wound while talking about Brad:

“We came together because we’re similar. We didn’t become similar after…He’s a really amazing father – he didn’t just become that around me. You could say he changed me. I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant. I’m the one that got knocked up! So if you look at it that way, it was me who had the reversal.”

Check out more highlights of the interview (including Jolie's opinion on Madonna's recent adoption) here.

You Are a Spoiled Asshole

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie spent Christmas with Colombian refugees in Costa Rica, while Jennifer Aniston lit holiday cigarettes with $100 bills and stirred vodka into her hot cocoa using the bones of the orphan children she's trapped and killed.

Cleaning up the Weekend

Britney can't figure out how to get her car to start and has to ask the paparazzi for help. [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen's body is now so malnourished it is unable to sustain the pigmentation in her hair. [Perez Hilton]

Matt Damon thinks the Bush twins ought to serve in Iraq. He and fellow four-star general Robert DeNiro were discussing the war for a segment of Hardball. [Glitterati]

Congratulations to Jillian Barberie! The Good Day LA host is expecting a baby. [Tabloid Whore]

Where has Jennifer Lopez been the past year? Well, aside from her inexplicable attendance at Tom Cruise's wedding, she's also been working on a Spanish-language album to be released early next year. Check out a sneak peak of the first single, "Que Hiciste." [Just Jared]

Music producer J.R. Rotem, 31, fresh off his fling with Britney Spears, shows up at Koi holding hands with Hayden Panettiere, 17. [Dirty Laundry]

Angelina on Good Morning America

Check out the footage from her Diane Sawyer interview. Argh. I hate that she's so completely likable now. I have to hand it to her, she's really done a good job of turning this whole "evil homewrecking slut" thing into "look at me I wear cream and adopt African orphans and raise them in a stable home and speak about it eloquently while wearing flattering and age-appropriate eye make-up."

Well played, Angie. Well played.

I also like her reference to "sliding doors," which was, you'll recall, the title of a film starring Brad's former fiancee, Gwen Paltrow. A Freudian slip, mayhaps?

Angelina's on the Pill

The Good Shephard has been very good indeed to the celebrity gossip community, as it's forced Angelina Jolie to hit the interview circuit. Everywhere she stops she drives her skinny, beautiful, successful stake further into Jennifer Aniston's heart. Yesterday's brutalities took place on Good Morning America, where she shared with the world the trials and tribulations of adopting children from around the world and raising them with Brad Pitt.

"I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn't just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it's been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family. I'm on the pill. You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z? So there's another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at. What's best for the children as they grow? ... We don't just want to have different children from different countries. That's not the point."

She continues to rave about Pitt and the kids: "He really enjoys them. He woke up very, very early this morning and let me sleep in because I had this interview. ... Dealing with the two girls and bottles and food, which is not easy to do, on his own, for quite a few hours this morning so I could rest. ... He's just a really great partner, a great, great man."

Angelina added: "It must be really sad to be Jennifer. I mean, she's all alone again, since Vince cheated on her with a sorority girl with teeth the size of my arm, and she'll probably never get to have kids of her own, and it's not like she's made a half-decent movie, well, ever. If I were her I'd probably just kill myself. Take a bunch of pills or something. Just let it all end. Have I mentioned that Brad is a really wonderful man? We are so, so happy together. So happy. Sooooooo happy. Happy, happy, happy. HAPPY!"

Shiloh the Sexpot

From a new photo shoot for Hello magazine. Damn, she's already got that seductive off-in-the-distance pout down. Are you guys sooo excited for when she and Jayden Federline have sex? I AM!

Jolie Will Steal Your Man, Then Welcome a Sitdown

I think we all should fear Angelina Jolie just a little bit. Not in the way that cripples thought, but more like a "I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to nuts. My throat is constricting. This Apple Brown Betty has nuts in it doesn't it?" sort of thing.

Well, she's given me a little more reason not to mess with her in an interview with Vogue. Personal aside, why is she doing interviews with Vogue? Aren't they part of the system? Have they adopted children I'm not aware of? Rant over.

Jolie initially denies that she has met Aniston, but she clarifies herself. "We've, like, passed each other and said 'hi' briefly, shook hands. But not a real sit-down-and-talk kind of meeting." Will they have a proper meeting? "That would be her decision, and I would welcome it."

Sigh. Now I have more questions. What exactly would a proper meeting entail? "Yeah, so anyway, Brad and I are traveling the globe in search of new children we can both take care of. He said life with you was hell. We done here?"

I mean this is a chick who has sported a vial of blood around her neck. I don't think Jen is looking to grab a quick mochachino. Hell, I'm shocked she even survived the hand shake.

Cleaning up the Weekend

After almost days of searching, the paparazzi catch Nicole Richie and Joel Madden together. Take that, Hilary Duff. Now you're left all alone with your hyper-successful, talent-driven career and your consistently positive media image. They sure showed you. [X17]

Paris. Miami. Stavros. [Hollyscoop]

With Paris Hilton safely on another coast, Lindsay Lohan appears to have put together several days of sobriety. Rock on. [Page Six]

Ellen Pompeo thinks she would look really good if she could just manage to put on five or ten more pounds. I think Ellen Pompeo would look really good with a black eye and a few broken ribs. [A Socialite's Life]

Pics of the Jolie-Pitts, sans Shiloh, in NYC. [Mollygood]

Beyonce's not the only one pissed that Jennifer Hudson got the role of Effie in Dreamgirls. But at least Fantasia Barrino will cop to it. [Snarky Gossip]

Angelina Jolie's Bodyguard Arrested

Three of Angelina Jolie's bodyguards were arrested in India today, and later freed on bail, after parents at a local school complained that they were injured and abused by the bodyguards. The problems began on Thursday, while Jolie was filming A Mighty Heart at the school in Mumbai, India. The gates to the school had been locked during the shoot, but were opened so that parents could pick up their children. At this point, the guards allegedly pushed a small child, and referred to the families as "bloody Indians."

Jolie's lap-dog and apparent spokesperson, Brad Pitt, has apologized to Mumbai police for the incident: "I am sorry for whatever has happened and for any inconvenience caused to the sentiments of people. We love children and would not do anything to harm them." Don't worry, Pitt didn't suddenly get even more ridiculous-sounding; this quote comes from the Mumbai police chief, paraphrasing Pitt's comments to him.

Jolie did manage to make a statement of her own: "As for this horrible rumor that someone referred to a local man as a 'bloody Indian', let me say this: I would never work with anyone who was derogatory towards another man's race. My family is of mixed race. It is not surprising that the press involved failed to mention their share of the responsibility in the chaos."

Maybe Today Should Be Pandora Day Instead

Because my Pandora box is a goddamn comedy goldmine today. Now on? Billy Bob Thornton, "Angelina." I've posted the lyrics here, because, well, it's just not fair that a song like this has been forgotten by pop culture. Or by Angelina Jolie.


I walked into an elevator
and you walked inta a wall
you said you wanted to be with me
I never dreamed I’d have it all
but sometimes changed that day inside me
and I believe it changed inside you too

Yeah Angelina can you feel it
watch the angels as they’re dancin’ up above
Angelina what’s come between us
Could it be the magic and the mystery of love

They all said we’d never make it
Two crazy panthers on the prowl
They said we would only fake it for a while
But we just looked at them and growled
You were masked and tied and cut and weary
But I said that’s okay you can be a girl

Yeah Angelina can you feel it
watch the angels as they’re dancin’ up above
Angelina what’s come between us
Could it be the magic and the mystery of love

This ain’t no chance we’re takin’
It’s real love that we’re makin’
The blindfold’s off and now we see
Yeah we see Angelina oh Angelina

Angelina what’s come between us
Could it be the magic and the mystery of love
Could it be the magic and the mystery of Angelina

Happy Slow News Week to You, Too!

Slowest. News week. Ever. So, celeb gossip bloggers have taken to their favorite slow-news-week activity: posting outtakes and best-takes from celeb photo shoots. Check out some of my favorites, and pray that someone finally snaps that pic of Paris Hilton doing what she does best in the bathroom at Hyde next week.

Shakira at the Latin Grammys [Teddy and Moo]

Kristen Bell in Giant magazine. [HGW]

Paris Hilton in Seventeen. [MollyGood]

Celeb candids [celebrity nation]

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at a Latin Recording Academy event. [YBNBY]

Brangelina and Maddox in India. [Hollyscoop]

Grey's star Ellen Pompeo on Friends, Kate Walsh by Roberto D'Este [HGW, more]

And, finally, a celeb nipple slip compilation video. [Celebrity Pictorials]

Brangelina Planning to Adopt Again

Although it won't premiere until sometime around the year 2020, the greatest reality show ever continues its casting process, with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie planning to adopt another orphan, this time from India. A source says they plan to bring the child to the U.S. by Christmas. While Brad wants to adopt a boy, Angelina may be leaning toward another girl. The source says that "whichever they end up with, they'd like to name the child India to honor its homeland," and, of course, to graciously set up the "finding nirvana in India" jokes for me to knock out of the ballpark when I'm writing a celeb gossip blog in my forties and India Jolie-Pitt is banging her Greek shipping heir. Pitt and Jolie are currently in India filming the upcoming A Mighty Heart.

Jolie has three children already. The first, Maddox, was adopted in 2002 from Cambodia, a region Angie fell in love with while filming the first Lara Croft film. Zahara, now nearly two years old, was picked up from Ethiopia; and, of course, we're all familiar with Shiloh Almighty, the omnipotent union of the Jolie-Pitt genetics, who made her much-heralded arrival to our simple planet in May of this year.

Angelina has said in the past, "I want to create a rainbow family. That's children of different religions and cultures from different countries." Thanks, Angie. I needed that spelled out for me. The other term I hear a lot lately is "dirty sanchez." Do you know anything about that?

Angelina Jolie: Fainty McFainterson

I'm so glad I didn't run this story the first it happened. Happier still that I didn't run it the second time it happened. See, folks, it's not that I find all this business of Angelina Jolie fainting nilly-willy about India to be incredibly, tediously boring, it's that I was waiting for it to happen a third time. Why take up perfectly good column inches writing about Jolie's first two utterly irrelevant Indian fainting spells when you just know it will be a way bigger story when it happens the third time?

I am such a good journalist. Good ole' Angie passed her damn self right out for the third time in India, where she's been filming A Mighty Heart alongside home-wreckee Brad Pitt, who's producing the film. Apparently Angelina is just so immersed in the character of Marianne Pearl, who lost her husband, journalist Daniel Pearl, at the hands of terrorists in Pakistan, that she just faints at the thought of a single drop of attention moving away from her and onto the genuinely tragic and terrifying story the film is trying to tell.

Okay, Angie. All eyes on you. Faint away, dear.

Friday Afternoon Links fo' Yo Ass

Angelina Jolie just hates it when photogs catch pictures of Shiloh without forking over the requisite $4M. [Just Jared]

Nicole Kidman's husband, country singer Keith Urban, is the latest celeb to enter rehab for an alcoholism relapse. It's going to be okay, Nicole. Remember, there's still no twelve-step program for Scientology. [Allie is Wired]

The Hills' L.C. is officially dating Brody Jenner, the ex-boyfriend of her Laguna Beach nemesis, Kristin Cavallari. No comment yet from Cavallari, but we're keeping a close eye on her t-shirts. [Hollyscoop]

Break out the weed and the slap bracelets. Fraggle Rock is coming to the big screen. [popbytes]

Breaking! Kevin Federline may not be the model father you'd previously believed him to be. Well, at least you were right about the model part. [PopCultureWhore]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Christie Brinkley is such a rock star. [Teddy and Moo]