Things That Didn't Happen to Anna Nicole Smith Today

Elle MacPherson hasn't gotten laid in two years. Cry me a river. [Cele|bitchy]

Hilary Duff releases the music video for "With Love." [POTP]

Kim Kardashian pretends like her sex tape still matters to anyone. [The Blemish]

Fashion Week bravely trudges forward in the wake of such tragedy. [MollyGood]

Mary-Kate Olsen is that drunken slut you always kind of knew Michelle Tanner would grow up to be. [Celebslam]

Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are probably bumping uglies again. [Celebrity Smack]