Sunday, July 30, 2006

On Fake Babies

While a Jesus-lovin' Mel Gibson works hard to bring Jew-hating back to the mainstream, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are leaving that last-season Judeo-Christian crap in the past where it belongs. The couple is focused on our world's latest Chosen One, taking graven images to a whole new level by allowing their two-month-old child to be depicted in wax and put on display.

Okay. Stop.

Can we talk for a second about how incredibly fucked up this is? Please? I don't care where the profits are going (UNICEF for anyone who thinks this changes anything), this is your child. This kid never had a chance. They never even tried. What could possibly be an acceptable rationale for allowing your two-month-old child to be replicated in wax and thrown in a museum and photographed with tourists for money? They don't need the cash flow, I assure you. If UNICEF needs funding that badly, I'm sure one of them can cough up some dough. Why oh why would a person do this? I feel awkward making judgments on how people raise their children, and I try generally to avoid the topic, but this is really frustrating behavior to me; how is this baby ever going to develop a sense of self when her image is a media sensation before she's really even fully sentient? When she's been defined by millions of strangers worldwide before she even knows her own name? This is how the Paris Hiltons of the world come to exist, folks. These are the ingredients, but they're much more potent here. This girl is in for a long journey, with a lot of hard outer shells and late-life soul-searching.

It's going to be sooo much fun to hear all about it on E!

I'm sure Tom Cruise is teaming with envy, and you'll see Wax Suri on display in the adjacent room just as soon as he and Katie adopt her.

Brian said...

"... and you'll see Wax Suri on display in the adjacent room just as soon as he and Katie adopt her."

Woah. Wait, wait, what are you trying to say here? TC and KH couldn't - or wouldn't somehow - engage in intercourse to create their own child?

sasha said...

This is so true! And look where Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and company are right now? I doubt they're happy with their slutty and stupid image!

This Shiloh baby is going to be one confused little girl when she grows up. Kinda like Drew Barrymore, only worse, I think.

Streisand_Disciple said...

You've got this all wrong. I think now is the time to start the infant idolatry. I mean, c'mon, this is Brangelina's baby. By comparison, we've got all kinds of wax sculptures of baby Jesus, and only one of his parents was a god.

Medical Blog said...

This kid never had a chance.

Anonymous said...

This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more
of your magnificent post. Also, I have shared your web site in my social networks!

Also visit my webpage ... Low Carb Erfahrungen