Timberlake on the Prowl

The evening JT is doing the double dip as host and musical guest so I'm throwing a little love his way with "The Barry Gibb Talk Show" skit. This is actually the second time he did this sketch with Jimmy Fallon, and if you've never seen it I think you may try and sleep with me, that's how delectable it is.

Ok, so enjoy, and pray they bring Fallon back from bagging groceries to do a third installment.

Fashion Victim of the Week

Oh Britney...what has happened to you my darling? I know that those Fedoras were really cool when you were dating Justin but they are a little dated now. Also...it looks like you cut off your skirt cause you peed on it. I love you girl, but you need to hire a 24/7 stylist/handler ect... Also, I can see your boobies in that shirt. Sometimes you don't want everything just hanging out honey. Leave something to our imagination.

Miss USA on Her Way Out?

Nothing beats a good beauty pageant scandal. Rumors have been flying this week that the current reigning Miss USA, 20-year-old Tara Conner of Kentucky, would be forced by pageant officials to forfeit her crown due to "innaproppriate behavior." Details on this behavior are hard to come by, but it seems, at the least, Conner has been downing alcohol beverages in a very underage manner in her home of New York City. Alleged infractions include "substance abuse, failing to make Miss USA promotional appearances, chafing at other obligations and nonstop nightclubbing at Big Apple hot spots" and generally behaving like a hot 20-year-old chick. Says one source: "She makes Paris Hilton look like a baby," which, in this blogger's opinion, is a more commendable feat than winning the Miss USA crown in the first place.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant, weighed in on the matter yesterday, stating that "reports that Miss USA is being 'dethroned' are absolutely not true. [Conner is] going through some personal problems and difficulties right now which could affect her ability to reign. We are right now looking into what we can do to work with her and what we will do about her reign going forward."

Today, TMZ reports that pageant reps have arrived at a solution: they're giving the crown to the first runner-up, Tamiko Nash of California. According to TMZ, Nash was contacted by a "high-ranking" pageant official and informed that she will take the crown when Trump makes the official announcement next week.

Trump is, of course, loving every minute of this, since this is the most attention his moribund Miss USA franchise has received since he took the reins in 2003. It's too bad it has to come at Tara Conner's expense.

[photo courtesy of Hollywood Tuna]

Angelina's on the Pill

The Good Shephard has been very good indeed to the celebrity gossip community, as it's forced Angelina Jolie to hit the interview circuit. Everywhere she stops she drives her skinny, beautiful, successful stake further into Jennifer Aniston's heart. Yesterday's brutalities took place on Good Morning America, where she shared with the world the trials and tribulations of adopting children from around the world and raising them with Brad Pitt.

"I want Mad (Maddox) to know that as our family grew and we all came together, we didn't just start having children, biological children. Yes, we have Shiloh and it's been a wonderful experience, but we want to find another brother or sister in the world for our family. I'm on the pill. You know, now the questions are more when you have a mixed-race family, do you balance the races so there's another African person in the house for Z? So there's another Asian person in the house for Mad? Shiloh has Brad and I she can look at. What's best for the children as they grow? ... We don't just want to have different children from different countries. That's not the point."

She continues to rave about Pitt and the kids: "He really enjoys them. He woke up very, very early this morning and let me sleep in because I had this interview. ... Dealing with the two girls and bottles and food, which is not easy to do, on his own, for quite a few hours this morning so I could rest. ... He's just a really great partner, a great, great man."

Angelina added: "It must be really sad to be Jennifer. I mean, she's all alone again, since Vince cheated on her with a sorority girl with teeth the size of my arm, and she'll probably never get to have kids of her own, and it's not like she's made a half-decent movie, well, ever. If I were her I'd probably just kill myself. Take a bunch of pills or something. Just let it all end. Have I mentioned that Brad is a really wonderful man? We are so, so happy together. So happy. Sooooooo happy. Happy, happy, happy. HAPPY!"

BREAKING: Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan Were Dating!

They're not anymore, apparently.

According to a Moynahan rep:

"(They) amicably ended their three-year relationship several weeks ago. We ask for your respect and consideration of their privacy. No further comments will be made."

Tom Brady is that total hottie who also plays football, and Moynahan is that little tramp who married Big on Sex and the City.

Live Free or Die Hard: The Teaser Trailer

It's heeere!! The latest installment of the Die Hard -- um -- quadrilogy? -- is set to hit theaters in July 2007. The teaser trailer has arrived. Shit will explode. Cars will crash. Bruce Willis will march to the beat of his own drummer. And it will be good.

Golden Globe Me

The Golden Globe Nominations have been announced.

I don't know who the Hollywood Foreign Press is, I've never met a member, no one has, and I assume they run around with assault rifles in countries that are still developing economies.

Nevertheless, we look to them each year as an indicator of what will be Oscar chosen and what might be left out. Let's take a look at some of the themes in this year's nominations:

Theme 1: Dear Clint Eastwood, would you please have sex with us?
He received two noms for best director. Break that down. Of the five best movies for 2006 Clint was at the helm for two of them. Garbage. Flags of Our Fathers was a film that no one went to see; those that did came away scratching their heads and inquiring as to whether they could have their money back.

Theme 2: Leo DiCaprio, any chance you need some sexual healing?
Two noms for our boy Leo too. These are a little more reasonable given the films he was in were actually watchable but still, two nominations for the same guy? Ballsy call, Globes, courage defined over there.

Theme 3: We foreign press guys know about more films than you could ever dream of Yanqui slime!
Let me name some films for you. Kinky Boots. Miss Potter. Nomad. Little Children. Okay, you might have heard of Little Children but you sure as hell didn't see it because no one in the entire country did. Fucking Kinky BOOTS???

Theme 4: We also have a deeper cinematic knowledge than you can ever hope to!
Movies aren't for entertainment, they're to make us feel superior. And that's why we like Babel.

So yeah, it's another banner year for award nominations, where the continuing theme seems to be "Hey, you, look at us!"

Late-Night Links (Back in Late Night)

Uh-oh. Looks like Nicole Richie's going to jail for this latest DUI. And just when Joel Madden was getting laid for the first time in three years... [TMZ]

Britney's new boyfriend can't get into Hyde. Also, if you'd like to dress up as a douchebag next Halloween, you can pretty much just use the outfit he wore to The Ivy this week. Everyone will totally be like "Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag." [Celebitchy]

Katharine McPhee in OK magazine. I don't know why I love her so much, but I do. [Pop on the Pop]

Jude Law plans to take his children to a South African orphanage for Christmas, to demonstrate that it is better to have a daddy who leaves your mother for a 22-year-old who he then cheats on with the nanny than it is to have no daddy at all. [Junkiness]

It is possible that Paris Hilton does cocaine. And by "possible" I of course mean "more of a sure thing than Tara Reid on St. Patrick's Day." [Celebrity Smack]

Finally! Someone moves away from character assassination and just plain attempts to assassinate Janice Dickinson. My money's on a former Top Model contestant. [Hollyscoop]

Lacey All Grown Up

Lacey Chabert is this month's Maxim hottie. Now Lacey is a good girl and I'm glad they didn't make her talk about anything too dirty. I really know from a very good source that she is a nice Southern Belle so I wouldn't have wanted to hear any of that weird Maxim banter coming from her.
She posed this month to promote her new movie, "Black Christmas," which is described as a "sorority slay flick." I really hope that her career takes off because, in my personal opinion, she was the best part of "Mean Girls." Take it away Lacey, I'd rather see you on screen than Lindsay Lohan any day.

Here is my favorite quote from the article when asked about her favorite pick up line Lacey says,

"At least be creative. None of this, That shirt will really look good on my floor,' or, 'All those curves and no brakes?' Somebody said that to me in Target. I was like, 'First of all, we’re in Target. Second of all, that’s so cheesy!' I couldn’t help but laugh, though."

How adorable is she! (and for you boys, yes...she is quite hot)

How Lucky is This Guy?

So all of you are familiar with "Girls Gone Wild." You know, the videos where drunk young girls show off their goodies for the camera. The owner of the GGW empire, Joe Francis, keeps escaping jail time for doing some very very shady things. He's been accused of drug trafficking, child pornography, racketeering, fraud, among other things and has yet to spend time in jail.

His most recent legal woe was that people finally realized that perhaps some of those young girls on his videos were not of age. A few under-18 ladies came forth and accused Joe, and his videos of runing their lives. I do really have no sympathy for drunken girls that get naked on camera and then use the "I was really wasted" excuse but there is no way that any images of girls who are under the legal age should be used in a soft-core porn video. His company fessed up to not monitoring the ages of the girls used in the videos (I guess he casually asked them "You are 18, right?) and paid $1.6 million dollars in fines while Francis simply got community service. I love that his company plead guilty to using UDERAGE GIRLS in PORN VIDEOS and only have to pay out an estimated 3 percent of their profits since 2002. Yes, that is how much those videos make a year. This is the reason why you always see Joe in his private jet, and why he has befriended the Hollyslut set of Paris, Niki, Lindsay, Brandon, Stavros, ect...
This guy is one lucky dude. This is a really sketchy business and so far, the company that distributes the videos, Mantra Films Inc., has taken the brunt of the resposibility for Joe's bad judgement.
Once more Joe Francis is off the hook. Boob flashing continues this Spring in Florida and beyond.

We at the Beet have not been the biggest Joe Francis supporters. He is lame, exploits women, and really is so 2001.

For the LA Times Article that started the backlash, click [here]
[source]

Britney and Paris Aren't Lovers

Good news.

Although:

In a recent photograph, Hilton looked very much like she was stroking Spears' upper thigh.

Hilton's rep dismissed a possible lesbian love affair with a curt:

“They are friends and you will continue to see them together. Paris thinks the world of her.”

Honestly, if they were caught making out the entire internet would shut down. So let's pray this doesn't blossom into something more serious than a little "thigh stroking." We've all casually stroked the upper thighs of our friends. I'm doing it right now. Move along people.

C'mon Jerks, Know Your "Partying Ethics"

It is on like Donkey Kong!

Paris Hilton has rushed to the defense of Britney Spears and fans of idiotic quotes the whole world round are rejoicing. Please folks, give her some room here.

"For people to call out her parenting skills on behalf of her partying ethics is appalling," Hilton wrote (on her MySpace blog).

Yes, it is appalling to call out a mother of two for being out all night getting housed. How silly of us. And I'm sure one day her children will gleefully look back on when their momma abstained from the merest hint of modesty.

Also, just knowing she has a set of "partying ethics" makes me warm and fuzzy about the whole thing. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go exercise my "Meth Morals."

Original Dreamgirl Not So Dreamy

Sometimes I just don't know what to make of the celeb sense of entitlement. Given, I write for a celeb blog, so I generally take a scalpel to it, but overall afterwards I'm left with a surly look on my face over how jacked up our culture occasionally seems.

And now this nonsense.

Jennifer Holliday, the original Tony Award winning actress from the Broadway musical Dreamgirls feels slighted by the movie version.

Holliday said she was particularly heartbroken when friends told her that it is her version of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," the show's trademark song, that plays in one of the film's trailers. In other words, her voice is being used to sell a production that had shut her out.

They own the rights to the song. And you won a Tony award when you were 21 years of age. Jennifer Hudson is 26. Maybe someone else deserves some critical acclaim. Would it have been smarter for them to use the Hudson version? Sure, it's a great performance. But it's their markerting department's call. Maybe they wanted to appeal to the original audience too. Who knows? How is this a knock on you? If anything it's a compliment. The article continues:

"Why is it necessary for them to wipe out my existence in order for them to have their success?" Holliday said. "It's scary that they can be so cruel. I know it's business, but why do they have to go to this extreme? I'm a human being. I need to work too. Why do I have to die to make them a winner?"

How is it cruel? And how the hell is she "dying?" What does she deserve, a cameo? It's Paramount's production and they wanted to start fresh. A movie is not a musical. Besides that, you've built a career out of your original Dreamgirls performance and when it wins the Oscar for best picture (which, having seen it, I can tell you it will) you'll get even more attention for your original portrayal. You should be thanking your lucky stars that work you did 20 years ago is still relevant. Most artists would KILL to be you.

The article goes on to say that life is now imitating art because the story of Dreamgirls involves how harsh the music industry can be. As a footnote it mentions that Holliday was difficult to work with in the original stage play, has been uncooperative with Paramount, and has declined to see a screening of the movie.

Speaking from experience I can tell you Paramount would have used her if possible. They use everyone. I've damn near interviewed grips for big buzz movies. The fact that they've turned their backs on her means something. That "something" is that she wanted the new Dreamgirls to be all about her. Well it's not.

It's high time for a new star to shine, my girl Jennifer Hudson. She's fantastic in this role and it's a shame that petty jealousy doesn't allow someone else to see that. Hudson will also win an Oscar here and I'd bet the house she pays homage to Holliday. That's what people with class do.

Shiloh the Sexpot

From a new photo shoot for Hello magazine. Damn, she's already got that seductive off-in-the-distance pout down. Are you guys sooo excited for when she and Jayden Federline have sex? I AM!

It's Like, Yeah, Motherfucker, I've Got Seven Days

We heard it from some jackass in a meeting.* We heard it from her mother. We heard it from her publicist. Now we're hearing it from Lindsay Lohan herself:

"I just left an AA meeting," she told People magazine. "I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything."

"I've been going to AA for a year by the way," she added. "I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. [Ed: Yeah, right] I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull."

When asked why she was attending meetings, Lindsay said "I was like, `I don't want to be written about at these clubs with these people. I work, I act, I have a living. That's what I do every day. I work every single day."

I'm actually not going to be snarky about this, because we bitch and moan about what drunken assholes these celebs are all the time, so now that one of them is taking steps to address the underlying issues, I'm not going to bitch and moan about it. Rock on, Linds, and keep coming back.



* For the record, I've decided that the "eyewitness" who saw Lohan in an AA meeting in Los Angeles was probably her publicist, trying to rehab her reputation. If Page Six ran a story every time they got a report that an A- or B-list celeb showed up at an AA meeting, they wouldn't have column space to print anything else. And I don't think they're such huge assholes that they'd take it upon themselves to sacrifice her anonymity. The U.S. media is typically pretty responsible about that sort of thing.

Borat Frat Boys' Case Dismissed

A judge dismissed the case against the two frat boys who sued the producers of Borat for their negative portrayal in the film, claiming they were inebriated and misled when they signed the release forms.

The students alleged that their portrayal in the film (as the horrible racist freaks that they are) was costing them employment opportunities and very important frat positions (isn't that an oxymoron?).

The judge ruled that they had failed to show a reasonable probability of success based on the merits of their case.

How Did We Miss This?

With our watch on everything Rosie I'm not sure how this slipped by my Spiteful radar, but here you go, Rosie letting us know that the Chinese language mostly consists of "Ching" and "Chong." Thanks to Defamer for the tip.

Brit's New Man

And we begin, per usual, with the time-tested opener for Britney-related pieces: Oops! She did it again! Britney Spears is hooking up with the help. The 'razzi snapped pictures of her sucking face (while sucking a cigarette) with music producer Jonathan "J.R." Rotem. Rotem is working with Spears on her new album, and also worked with ... wait for it ... Kevin Federline, on Playing with Fire. Federline had Rotem as one of his top MySpace friends until Monday, when he was removed from the list.

This seems to be a pattern for Britney. When she and Justin Timberlake split, one billion years ago, it was widely assumed (although never confirmed by either party), that it was because she cheated on him with Wade Robson, who choreographed both her tour and *NSYNC's. So maybe Brit just has a thing for men who work for both her and her previous dudes. Because, um, I've seen pics of this Rotem kid, and I can't imagine she has a thing for his face. But whatevs.

Anyway, Rotem wasted no time in hitting up Hyde, now that he's famous and all. TMZ has video. Rock on, Britney.